this photo was an outtake from our visit to the butterfly garden at the pacific science center last week, and i had to laugh when i saw it. this pretty much depicts the current status around here -- jack's over it and i'm constantly on the verge of feeling totally awkward. we're the two people in the back of the room, trying hard to blend in and pretend we're not feeling completely out of place.
things are fine, don't get me wrong. b LOVES his new job [hooray!], seattle is gorgeous, my mom is here and we've had a blast exploring the area. but moving is just tough.
i feel like i'm continually making small talk, pulling at threads to try to find a connection with someone -- anyone -- so i can feel like i have a tie to another person here. this inevitably leads to some slightly uncomfortable situations with the less-chatty types. [insert awkward silence here..."so...it rains a lot in seattle...?"]
maybe i should hand out a business card stating how many facebook friends i have and how many blog comments i get, so these new peeps know i'm not just some fully inept weirdo who can't carry on a conversation. sorry lady, you're the 12th person i've met today, you're not getting my A-game chit chat here.
i've now been to church 3x, an mba alumni dinner 1x, dinner with utah friends 2x -- but i still don't feel totally solid. i miss the comfort of our utah neighborhood, and my people.
not only that, i'm finally learning my way around town [thank the heavens above for the person who created GPS and then the other person who decided to put it on my phone], but it's still weird to get used to a completely new place. i have to figure everything out from scratch -- where my nearest mall/target/movie theater/church/etc. is, where the best place to park is, what's the fastest way to get there during rush hour.
we've moved a lot in our married life -- from LA to pasadena, pasadena to provo, provo to denver to provo, now provo to seattle -- so i also start comparing each new city to the old ones and wishing i could go back to one or the other. but then i realize, i've never actually hated any of the places we've lived -- in fact, i end up totally loving each one. i know i just need to give it time and settle in.
i learned a long time ago that you can't truly judge a new job, relationship, city, or apartment until you've been in it for six months -- so i guess we have five months to go before i have realistic results. so until then, i guess i better sharpen up my small talk skills. wish me luck.
5 comments:
So sorry! Small talk is the WORST! But I bet next year by this time you'll totally be loving it. And I bet next year by this time I'll STILL be in good ol' Orchard Creek, because I'm beginning to think we'll be here for the next 20 years. :( I miss you guys!
Ahhhhh, sorry to hear things are tough! Moving is the pits. It's like starting from scratch. But soon you'll have a bunch of new lifelong friends! I'll be there the 26th-29th - wanna hang out and I can show you some fun places? :)
My heart just sank when I read this post! I know EXACTLY how you feel and went through it when I moved to Salt Lake. It can get a little overwhelming and lonely at times. You are right - it does take a good 6-8 months to really start to feel a part of something and get comfortable with it. You will slowly make new friends who can show you around and things will look up! Hang in there and keep smiling! People are always drawn to those who smile!
Ugh, moving is so hard. I hate that uncomfortable...but trying to look comfortable thing. I've done a lot of that the past month. I hate not knowing how to put my food in the cubbords, or where I've put all my dishes. Change is just hard. I kept telling my mom "I feel like I'm just pretending...it's lame." It's hard having no one really KNOW you. It's like you wish you could have everyone already know that you are a fun, smart, talented, witty, etc person. But for all THEY know you are boring with no hobbies :) Let's talk today :)
Hang in there!! There are always growing pains after a move, but you will be absolutely fine. You are so friendly and social!! Your future new buds in Seattle will be SO lucky!!
And I loved the "A-game chit chat" comment... LOL!!
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