better.

whew! i think we made it through the worst this week; thank you for all the supportive comments. apparently this six week fussy thing is legit; one book said "plan ahead for your baby to become fussy; if possible, have your partner take a few days off work to help out." haha. sure. in my case, b went to moab for three days and left me here alone. no big deal.

j has been a lot better the past few days with more smiles like the one above. b got home from moab tonight and i went to pick up dinner. when i got home, i found j screaming while b tried to comfort him. as soon as i picked up the baby, he stopped crying and just melted into me. a fluke? maybe, but later tonight as the three of us sat on the couch, jack was smiling at me -- then b said hello to him and j burst into tears. it was hilarious, although a little sad for b. maybe jack really does love me after all!

now my husband is home, my baby is sleeping, and i'm deeply entrenched into my book :) i have high hopes for a better upcoming week.

growth spurt

so i'm pretty sure jacko is undergoing a 6-week-old growth spurt. yesterday he was crazy --acting totally unlike himself, totally whiny and fussy ALL day, eating and sleeping sporadically, screaming for hours. i felt like all our hard work at routines and scheduling had flown out the window. not only was i totally stressed and worn out, i felt so bad for the little guy who was obviously out of whack.

i was supposed to drive to california today with my sister & bro in law for a long vacation weekend while b is busy with MBA stuff, but decided last-minute not to go. i probably could have pulled it together and still gone, but if you think i felt good about driving 800 miles with a fussy kiddo who currently hates his car seat and wants to eat every two hours, you got another thing coming. another reason for me to be upset; kids are a lot harder to integrate into my regular life than i thought. i'm not nearly as independent as i used to be.

i've spent a lot of time crying [what else is new?] and second-guessing myself and everything i've ever done with the baby...even wondering WHY we decided to have this dang baby in the first place. parenting is crappy sometimes and a lot of hard work.

sorry for the downer post. so while trying not to feel sorry for myself, i've realized that parenting isn't all bad. at least i have b to help me, and at least jack is cute enough to make me forget how frustrating he can be. this is just a phase and hopefully we'll be back to regular life soon, right? i think this is a growth spurt for ME too, to help me work through these challenges and know that everything will be okay. and to realize that i am doing god's work in raising this little baby. [this talk gave me a lot of comfort.]

BUT. all is not lost. jack has been taking better naps today. i went for a run [3.5 miles, the longest i've gone since the pre-prego days] which felt SO good. and, my copy of mockingjay just arrived :) i guess i'll just keep moving and hope life gets a little happier.

jack says hey

EVERYONE keeps telling me this little dude looks just like b. i don't really see a major resemblance, but since i also don't think he looks much like me, i guess i'll go with it. at least i can claim he got the long fingers from his mama.

funny bone

in colorado, b went to another rockies game with his fellow interns & co workers. he took some photos, which cycle through our computer's screensaver every day, and one picture in particular makes me laugh every time.



upon first glance, not a big deal -- just b & his co worker cheesing it up. but take a closer look at the background:



i don't know who that old lady is, or what she is doing, but the fact that she appears to be choking AND looking straight at our camera cracks me up. thanks, little old lady, for brightening my day.

and if that's not enough to get you smiling -- because you too, like me, may in fact be suffering from sleep deprivation today after your baby decided to re-neg his awesome sleeping habits and stay awake all night plus take crappy naps today -- here's another good one. last year, b used to tell me about some random, crazy guy he saw doing yoga and tai chi in the middle of the field in our complex during the day. today b was taking jack for a little stroll and called me outside to witness the dude in full lotus position. i grabbed my camera and got a pose:



i love that he is not wearing a shirt, and that i don't even know if he lives here. reminds me of coach the dragon slayer on survivor. that's some good real-life entertainment right there.

jack attack

just a little update on jacko. this kid is seriously the cutest and has started really smiling at us -- i finally caught one of them with my phone. he makes his own little talking noises and just last night had his first conversation with b, chirping back at b while he talked.

he doesnt love tummy time [even though he has a strong neck and can hold his head up for a while] -- instead, we catch him licking the blanket or sucking on his hands for entertainment.

he's started wanting some alone time -- big surprise, just like his momma -- where he'll just lay on a blanket and look around, no doubt pondering the universe. i love when he is so alert. he will still tolerate us reading him books or showing him toys while he's hanging out, as long as we don't get too far up in his grill. he has a stuffed giraffe that plays music and he LOVES that thing, so we wind it up and let it entertain him for a while when we need a break.

jack sleeps great [though mommy still can't get used to waking up once or twice every night...if you've slept more than four hours straight in the past month, consider yourself blessed] -- and has slept in his official crib the past five nights! no more sharing a room with mom & dad! although he pretty much still spends the same amount of time with us because i check on him every ten minutes, and then i keep the monitor right next to my pillow when i go to sleep.

everyone keeps saying j looks like b, but we don't see it. i do know, however, that even though our once-independent lives now fully revolve around jack and his attitude, meals and sleep schedule, i wouldn't have it any other way.

the confusion of having two homes

things i missed about utah:
- my sharp knives. missed them so much i forgot how to use them and sliced my finger open while chopping veggies.
- water purifier
- having more than 4 of anything -- we have SO many spoons here! amazing.
- DVR. we keep forgetting we have it and sit through commercials anyway.
- two cars
- lots of friends
- big family get-togethers
- great harvest bread
- j dawgs
- two bedrooms

things i miss about colorado:
- lots of windows and light in our apartment
- jaran & deborah right across the street
- the lone tree library
- park meadows
- our neighborhood
- driving by sky ridge every day and knowing that's where we got j
- church with non-utahns
- dropping b off at work every morning
- our big couch, high countertops and big fridge
- trash valet
- colorado sky + thunderstorms

can't i just have one home that includes all of these?

<< rewind: go broncos

another catch-up post. the denver broncos started their summer training camp last week and practiced right near our apartment. i could really care less about the NFL but tim tebow, arguably one of the best college football players ever, is a rookie for the broncos so i was definitely interested in going to see him. b's dad is also a huge broncos fan, so b knows a bit about the team -- not to mention we all know he looooves football -- and we decided to go check out practice one night after work.





tebow, #15:



baby j spent most of the practice sitting on dad's lap, scoping out the team roster:



the team came out to sign autographs after practice but sadly tebow had media interviews so he didn't come over :( BOO.

however, another main motivation for b coming to practice was that zane beadles, a former utah player, is also a rookie. after the practice, b got to meet him. we had dressed jack in his ute onesie just in case we got to see zane -- which totally paid off. we took this picture and zane signed the onesie. daddy was happy and i cracked up at the bewildered look on jack's face:



so i'm still not really an NFL fan -- i just kept thinking about how many millions of dollars were running around on the field in front of me -- but it was a good time.

<< rewind: colorado springs

just thought i'd finally catch up on colorado, now that we don't live there anymore. :(

the day after my due date, b had the day off for 4th of july and we wanted to take my mom sightseeing. we drove down to colorado springs and had lunch at this delightful german restaurant:



then we drove around garden of the gods and manitou springs:







and saw pike's peak, where "america the beautiful" was written. [that's your fun fact for the day...also, another day, b got to go up the mountain on a train with his fellow interns -- you can see all the way to kansas from up there. we decided against going up the day we visited, as i'm pretty sure the ridiculous altitude would have done something to my prego self. or maybe it just cost $65 per person.] the mountain:



we toured the olympic training facility -- sadly, no michael phelps sightings:







but we did win gold medals. ha! pretty sure no pregnant girl has ever won a gold medal:



and finished up the day by checking out the air force academy with its b-52 bombers and crazy chapel:







all in all it was a lovely day. stay classy, co springs.

back in town

made it back to orem with only three extra stops for the baby to eat and get changed. not bad. now we're back and trying to settle in. it's amazing how LONG it takes to get things done when you have a baby to take care of...which is frustrating.

below is what my bedroom looked like for the majority of yesterday [play where's waldo by finding brandon in the piles of clothes] and if you know anything about me you know that is NOT a sight you usually see around here. ugh. luckily it's gone now but my to do list is still ginormous. let's hope today is a productive day.

"it's called chillaxing...duh."

blog post title is a quote from community, my favorite show right now. okay, it's tied for #1 with 30 rock [an ongoing love] and modern family. i just love a well-written comedy, what can i say. but thanks to hulu and summer reruns i've been kind of OD-ing on community lately -- i like to watch it while i'm nursing, makes it much more fun -- and dang is it hilarious. sometimes i laugh so hard jack jumps and looks up at me like "seriously?? i'm eating here. cool it."

but really, chillaxing is pretty much what we've been doing around here lately. baby j and i have had lazy days at home all week while b has been working his butt off. today he gave his final internship presentation to company execs to share all the hard work he's done and he rocked it -- i'm so proud of him. tomorrow is his last day and then he's free till school starts! i can't wait to have him all to myself for a few weeks.

speaking of which, now that it's t-minus five days till the homeward-bound road trip, we're squeezing in all our last-minute denver activities. today j and i lunched at chik fil-a with my favorite cousin, while random ladies came over and oogled at how cute he is. haha. i'm so glad people pay attention to HIM now instead of asking to pat my stomach like they did when i was pregnant. a real baby is so much better than a giant belly. especially when he's so smiley and smells really good.