the best way to phrase my random thoughts (reminder of format inspired by erica wilkinson xoxo):
dear brett favre:
seriously? seriously. you are a JOKE. wasn't it like five months ago that you were a hero of professional football with the whole world in love with you? and now you are a freaking emo waffle (and that says something, coming from a girl who almost called off her wedding four times).
make up your dang mind and don't be mad when you get traded. and don't even get me started on the re-cover of madden 09.
dear pasadena 24 hour fitness:
your new idea to physically rope off the "personal training area," aka the only place with mats and weights less than 25 pounds, is totally stupid. a. because no one was even using it and b. how am i supposed to stretch out on the hard dirty ground?? i was already mad at you for your lack of competent yoga teachers but this is the last straw.
dear beverly hills 24 hour fitness (and raghavan, yoga instructor extraordinaire):
i really miss you (see letter above). we used to make fun of the fact that you were in the basement of a trimana but your women's only weight/cardio room was the bomb. and yoga will never be the same!
dear breaking dawn fans the world over:
i try to keep this on the DL so as not to alienate 98% of my friends, but i am not and have never been a twilight fan. (yes, go ahead and gasp.) i still keep up on the news for sake of pop culture value, and i must say that the spoilers i've heard about for this new book are crazy.
this is unhealthy for all of you to be so enamored in girl porn! get over it. just because it's written by a mormon doesn't mean it's not another (albeit cleaner) version of a harlequin romance.
dear college football season:
24 days. can't wait. (and never thought i'd say that.)
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6 comments:
okay...SINCE your letters were so ridiculously hilarious...I will forgive the fact that you still HAVE NOT written me back. And, don't give the "I haven't had time"...because, if I read it right: you have submitted two, yes two, new blog posts.
And in other news...I am not into reading Twilight either! Thank you for e-vocalizing all of my thoughts! Seriously...I tried to read the first book, and only made it to page 22 before I returned the book :-).
And, I am counting down to football season too. Crazy what men can do.
Reading your two latest posts cracked me up. I have to say that you brightened up my day! Thanks.
Hahaha... you crack me up, Lyndsey! "Freaking emo waffle"... love it. Isn't Brett Favre like 60 years old or something, too? Just kidding, he's great and everything.
I haven't read Breaking Dawn yet, but I'll be on the alert for the porno music cueing up. :-P
Can you tack my name on to those?
also.
P.S. 24 Hour Fitness you are also lame, as your one month notice cancelation policy should really be stated as a 2 month cancellation policy since you don't count the "last month" I paid when I first joined.
I love the idea of Letters to the Universe. GREAT way to vent. I may have to copy you one day.
And as a Twilight reader, rest assured that you have not offended our friendship. But I will say that until you actually read one her books you will never know why everyone's so caught up in them (maybe you have read one?) I completely rolled my eyes at the premise....but come on, harlequin romance? it's cheesy and lovey-dovey, yes. But it's more than just adolescent hormones. I think of it in "Wicked"/Wicked Witch of the West sort of way. She's giving the "bad guy" the benefit of the doubt. Vampires aren't all blood and fangs...they're freaking hot models that wear cloths from Banana Republic. haah. this is important to point out because you know, vampires are part of real life and stuff...
Hey there! I love this post. All of my friends are OBSESSED with the Twilight series and I've never read it because I think it's super over-rated. I've been afraid to say it out loud, but now that I've heard that you kind of feel the same way, I'm putting it out there on the internet for all my Twilight loving friends (and yours, too) to read.
Anyway, it looks like you guys are doing well. Come and visit!
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