i work in downtown LA where there are a lot of homeless people, as i'm sure i have mentioned before. normally i'm more of a keep-your-head-down-and-avoid-eye-contact type of person (unless they're particularly clean and kind looking, in which case i usually give them money or food) because most of the people there, i'm sad to say, look like dirty cracked out mental patients that scare the crap out of me. i find it best to avoid them at all costs.
however, i have been accumulating a collection of experiences that have helped me to see that these crazies are, in fact, capable of admiring a lady.
my favorite story -- and scariest -- happened on my first day of work back in september 06. i was walking up the hill from pershing square (a major bum gathering ground, for some reason, and also the backdrop of the daniel powter "had a bad day" video -- there's your useless knowledge for the day) and one of the said crazies walked toward me down the hill. when he got near me he actually walked right up to my face with his lips puckered and tried to kiss me on the cheek. i mumbled something, pushed him away and hauled my butt to work. as if my nerves weren't fried enough starting my very first job, that definitely threw me for a loop.
most times when i walk near them on the street i hear them try to catch my attention by calling things to me (again, mostly ignored). yesterday though i heard something different -- one guy actually clicked his tongue at me, like you'd do to call for a horse. that's a new one.
another time i was in the LA public library, across the street from my office, and some gangster-looking kid (probably not homeless, but nevertheless a funny example) walked by me and tapped my hip. not quite sure what the purpose of that was, but maybe it's the new gang way to pick up chicks in libraries.
that's all i have for now, but in case i learn more homeless womanizing tactics i'll be sure to pass them along. until then i will just keep my head down and stay inside my office for 10 hour blocks like i've been doing all week.
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9 comments:
haha. Hysterical, yet freaky. I think I'd cry. I avoid those people at all cost, I'm just not very good with awkwardness.
your new layout threw me for a loop. But I like it.
And, hilarious post. And somewhat creepy as well.
I think I will start clicking my tongue at Brandon when I want his attention. I like that. :-)
My favorite stroy is walking back from lunch to justin's office in portland. this lady was sweeping the street, and as we walked by she asked if we have any spare change. we ignored and continued on our path before she got all upset and yelled "excuse me!" at us. when we stoped and looked, she asked again if we had any spare change. once we said no she huffed that she was just trying to get paid for her services. aparently she doesn't get the concept of a job. but yucky that yours ouch you! i would go crazy! xx
scary.....
Hi Lyndsey!
After our talk I had to check out your blog and I'm very impressed. Maybe you can give me some pointers.
Be careful passing through the homeless crowd on your way to work! (I totally sounded like Caryn there, didn't I?)
woah! freaky! If you weren't so gorgeous I'm sure all the men in LA wouldn't be trying to pick up on you... :) Maybe you better start carrying pepper spray. I got some from Sports Chalet that even has a cool key chain hooker onner thingy.
Funny stories! I love it when Casey has bum stories for me. There's one guy who's in a wheelchair for 2 weeks and then on-foot for the next 2 weeks and then back to the wheelchair again.
There's one bum though by his building that Casey really likes and talks to from time to time. At Universal I used to get pointless swag sometimes (a sweatshirt from The Laugh Factory in this instance). So I asked Casey if his bum friend might want it. It was a quality sweatshirt, it just had the dumb LF logo on it. So he gave it to him and the guy told him the next day that all the other bums were jealous of him. Funny little sub-culture they've got there.
I like the hipping touching. What a clever new salutation.
oh, and p.s. I'm digging the new blog background. Nice.
yikes! i'm a fan of wearing my iPod even if it is not on...that way it's like i can't hear them.
okay...i can't believe he kissed you. nasty.
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