today i went to a motorcycle symposium and in one of the sessions the guitarists (and motorcyclists) from angels & airwaves, green day and death by stereo were part of a panel about music+motorcycling. they were quite entertaining, but that's not the point of this post.
watching them up there, with all their piercing and tattoos and alpine star shirts, brought back so many good memories. i spent the end of high school and most of college as an avid pop/punk fan...i went to tons of shows, followed all my favorite bands, hung out with and/or dated all the punk rock kids. i spent a ridiculous amount of time illegally downloading songs and prided myself on knowing all the up and coming bands. i dragged my friends and roommates to concerts from so cal to the wasatch front. my original converse were signed by members of yellowcard, new found glory, something corporate, the ataris, starting line.
now, not only have half those bands broken up, but the saddest part of all is that probably none of the people in today's day-to-day life know anything about that phase of mine. even brandon met me when i was coming off that era, launching into a more grown-up phase that involved stilettos and pinstripes, not black nail polish and dickies. it was a big part of me, a place where i felt connected and accepted and could have a blast. and now it's a thing of the past.
but it made me start thinking about how quick life goes by. in five years, will anyone in my daily life even know/care that i lived in LA once? right now i'm pretty deep into the p.r. diva fast track to careerdom, but in a few more years when i give it all up and the only thing my kids know me by is their stay-at-home mom, will they even care that once upon a time i went out and tried to make my mark in the corporate world?
it's cool that we get to keep growing up and continue learning and reshaping ourselves, but it makes me sad that we'll always leave pieces of ourselves behind. i guess it will always be part of us though, because today i like to think i still have a faint pulse on the indie scene...and i will always be able to tell stories about the time i got a bloody nose in the mosh pit at homecoming, or when the violinist from yellowcard gave me a big sweaty drunken hug.
i suppose a little part of that punky lyndsey will always be around. and i might go paint my nails black again tonight.
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7 comments:
First off, I like the new blog background update, title, pictures, etc.
Secondly...I can totally picture a punkd out Lyndsey with black nails and converse. That's a fun phase you lived. I have a cute image of you in my mind.
And Third, I loved this post because I feel completely the same. I often laugh because, as much as my friends in the ward know me, I feel like there's a whole side of me hiding. Not because I want it to, but just because there's not use for some of me right now (like doing a mean Robbocop or C-walking in the middle of a dance circle?...maybe if I have to chaperone a youth dance one day.)
Anyway. Yes, it's interesting how we live, learn, grow, change, and are constantly morphing into different parts of ourselves. I guess it's kind of exciting to wonder who/what I will be into in 40 years!
Great post.
Don't worry Lyndsey, some of us will always remember that phase in your life! ha ha Good times!
LOVE the new design and title!!
Ok--I totally get this post and was just thinking the same thing last week. There are so many times where I feel like who am I now? What happened to the person I was before kids and when did she lose her identity and become a mom?
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE being a mom and wouldn't trade it for the world, but I definitely am not the same person I was even 5 years ago--let alone 10. Is the real me still in there or have I become a completely different person?
(Am I being too philosophical here?)
It's funny when I talk to friends who have known me since college and even before and they'll say things like "remember the time you did ____" or "remember the time you would always say ____." And I totally don't even remember some of those things.
I know I am rambling...
I just know EXACTLY what you mean...and have actually thought the same thing about my mom when she gets together with old friends from college or from growing up. I always wonder what it would have been like to hang out with her and know who she was before she was a mom.
I think we do change (even before having kids) based on our surroundings and daily environment (i.e. work) and they really do shape our personality until the next wave of change comes along (job change, marriage, kids).
So much for being succinct and not rambling on...but that's just how I am. In case you hadn't noticed. heehee
Just as a funny note. When my former roommate Heidi (who is now one of my best friends and has been since our roommate days) found out we would be sharing a room and we had never met before-- she asked some people from the apartment complex what they knew of me (since I had lived there the year before). My favorite all-time response from one girl that totally freaked her out was "Oh Doris is great and really fun, but totally out of control". Heidi was totally freaked!!
I still laugh to this day about that. Was it my Diet Coke addiction that was out of control? I don't know what is was, but I certainly don't think anyone would say that now. Too funny.
Way to go with the blog update. Did you use my templates suggestions?
I have to say, I can still totally sense the punk-ish side of you (in a good way). SO, I don't think you've totally left that behind at all. I guess this is why we document things with pictures and blogs, that way we never forget!
::tear::
I remember that person, whom we shall name, Lyndsey. You were one of the only reasons why I even had a (burned) CD with Yellowcard, Juliana Theory, and Ataris! :-) haha...you really were such a punk! And, since I knew both the black fingernail Lynds, AND the stilletto wearing Lynds..I can proudly say, I like them both! (but the latter one a little more, because we have more in common now :-).
Sometimes I miss Ero too. The cut-up clothes...the crazy hairstyles. Ahhh..if our Brandons only knew :-)
P.S. I got your email...consider this my response: YAY! So glad you're coming to UT. And, after FHE with you grandparents will be better. I work until 5:30.
I still remember your hip and funky style at BYU! Promise me you won't forget that I was once a student. I miss those days, too. :-(
hahaha, found you first. Thats what I get for a short walk home from the theatre. Anyway it was a great night we make quite a crowd when we all get together. Hopefully it will be soon again.
PS: my email address is kristibrewer18[at]gmail[dot]com
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