get your feet away from me.

i hate feet. always have, always will. i don't think mine are very cute, and i'm slightly ticklish, so i've been pretty anti-touching, -looking and -allowing people anywhere near my feet throughout life.

in the meantime, however, i've seen PLENTY of other reasons [on other people] to make me hate feet even more. nasty things going on with toenails, surgery-requiring anomalies, all sorts of fungus. i won't go into great detail but let's just say the biggest form of torture imaginable to me would be to work as a pedicurist. YUCK.

which brings us to this morning, when i dutifully attended my yoga class. (yes! two weeks in a row! i am doing so great on my new year's resolution.) first of all we had a sub, which was fine, except she introduced herself by saying she was more of a pilates person (bad sign...i've had rough experiences w/ pilates) and THEN proceeded to direct the class without turning off the lights. yoga in full lighting? who does that?

so we're just warming up, doing all that downward dog and warrior pose stuff, and she has us lay down for some core work. the class was completely packed, like wall-to-wall yoga mats, and unfortunately my location toward the back ended up overpopulated by an annoying group of women who insisted on squeezing in to non-existent spaces AND speaking loudly in some asian dialect i could not understand.

then the directive comes to do leg circles, which i can only assume is a pilates thing. so there i am, trying to draw giant circles in the air with my pointed toe, breathing in on the out swoop and out on the in swoop, using my core, pushing my hips into the floor, trying to erase all distractions and outside thoughts.

and then a giant foot swoops down three inches from my face.

talk about destroying a chakra! i almost freaked out. you may also know that i don't have depth perception (if you didn't, i guess that's a post for another time), so who knows how close the foot actually was. but i was not happy. not to mention we still had eight more leg circles to do on that side. i could barely lift my leg off the ground, because i was so afraid the foot would come back and nail me right on the face. i'd have to drench my whole head in hydrogen peroxide if that happened.

yoga is a dangerous activity.